"Jika ini takdir saya , saya terima." How I wish I can have the same feelings like that. But human not that prefect. There is pro and contrast. I'm not like angel but I'm also not demon. I'm just a human. I don't know how when where I can accept the reality. How I can face the reality when reality is too much. Yes, it does hurt me much. More than myself really. Maybe I can lie to everyone that I'm okay but not too myself. I do try it but its getting hurt so much. Everyday I have keep this hurt and just ignore the reality. Yes I will keep be like this. But until when ? Until my heart opens to face the reality. But I also don't know when. Sometimes I can't bear this reality because I didn't share it to anyone. Let it be. I don't want they feel sorry for me. I don't want look weak infront of them because I'm strong. Allah always with me to keep me strong. Regardless all of this I wish that all of these reality it just a nightmare. I hope it was true.